Ghost Loop – Season 1 Episode 8… Demon Mine

You can watch the episode of Ghost Loop on the travel channel featuring me, my son Ty and our home in South Jordan, Utah.

Ive heard it has deeply affected people and some people have needed days to process.

I get it. It’s part of my real life every day nightmare for over 3 years.

Comments and questions will be answered. Thank you.


Trials of Humanity. And so it begins.

Trials of humanity:

As a lot of people know I have been going through some things that don’t seem to make sense from the outside and that could absolutely be judged as negative and harsh. The beauty of it is that I am going through trials by fire and that in the end I truly do hope to be that sword of truth and light that is forged in the flames.

May I share with you just one story that happened this last week as I look for the good in people.

I was at a hotel and there were probably over a dozen people gathered together in the eating area having a meeting about why they were in town. I felt compelled to walk into the middle of it even though that made me beyond uneasy. I did not know what I was going to say until one of the members saw me looking at them and ushered me forward.

He said well come on say what you need to say. When I stepped forward the words came out of my mouth without me even thinking. I said I apologize for interrupting your meeting but there is something that I must do. May I ask one of you.i to please get me a cup of coffee?

As the words came out of my mouth I imagined the sour response that would come from this group of strangers. But to my disbelief one man stood up immediately and walked over to the machines and asked me if I wanted coffee or cappuccino?

I stood in the middle of that group of strangers and the tears ran down my face. Everyone else had given me a dirty or confused look. But one man out of a dozen did not question. He simply decided to do something nice for a stranger. I had offered no reward or way to repay him and he did it anyway.

I hope that I am that man and that I possess his heart of gold.

Look to the sky

I am still super excited about the changes that are now actually measurable and happening all around us and it is one of the most exciting times on the planet… as well as one of the most confusing.

Technology is starting to act up with everyone around me (not just me any more!) and the energy on earth, due to magnetic and polar shifts that not enough people are talking about, are causing not only physical signs and symptoms such as nausea, headaches and pressure, dizziness and vertigo but also mental and emotional issues such as absent mindedness, forgetfulness and major mood swings.

It is starting to feel like exploding and imploding all at the same time and it’s only getting more intense, what with the lions gate portal opening and mercury continuing to go in and out of retrograde along with eclipses and full moons…

And if none of that makes any sense to you, you’re definitely not alone. In fact you are in with the majority of people.

It is an earthly fact that more crime is committed during full moons than at any other time. Significantly more, too, close to DOUBLE what happens during other non-full moon positions.

In the past I have been cranky or out of sorts and someone has mentioned that maybe I felt that way because it was a full moon that night. I would always reply something like, “Well it all makes sense now!” Not truly considering the weight or full meaning of any of the words or the situation.

To say a full moon makes men howl is a slight exaggeration, and a werewolf reference that may or may not make total sense at this point, but only a slight exaggeration.

Indigenous people have many stories dating back to forever regarding the moon and stars and how they affect and relate to us. And who better to listen to and learn from than the oldest and most wise tribes of humans around us?

We are full of energy and star dust and we ebb and flow with the ocean tides and our bodies follow circadian rhythms that are ancient and inevitable. Animals survive off of these things and they are innate also to our human nature.

Unfortunately in our hustle and bustle world of technology today we are programmed and trained from birth to be consumers first and foremost and everything about our lifestyles immediately dulls our natural instincts and senses.

You can’t even see the moon and stars from most cities and towns.

I believe that there is far too little emphasis or attention paid to the infinite space all around us filled with wonders as well as answers to so many human questions.

We, as humans and earthlings, have truly gotten so far away from the basic, natural and simple ways of living and healing that we never even consider consulting the earth, moon and stars for answers.

Sounds “Hokey,” right? Oh, so wrong.

There is too much information for me to cover regarding these subjects – but I highly suggest that you consider doing some research of your own into the moon cycles, eclipses and portals and see how they affect literally everything around us including our bodies and minds.

Also, the next time you have a simple ailment, maybe research a holistic approach first?

And any chance you get, please stop and look to the sky and take a few moments to take in all of its wonder and beauty.

There may even be some answers in the clouds and stars that you have been searching for…

5D concepts in a 3D world

I’ve had a really rough time sitting down to write lately – not for lack of ideas for posts or lack of opinion on things or even lack of experiences to share.

It’s because I got completely tripped up by a few concepts that are still keeping me stuck. One of which, the hardest one, is believing that I matter.

Sounds simple in theory; sure, sure I love myself and I’m great and everything. But not really.

At our core and in the light of truth I believe humans have more worth and power than we can even imagine. But due to the second thing that’s been tripping me up, absolute and total deception throughout our entire existence… we’ve been dulled down and dumbed down and worst of all, left questioning our self worth, and even worse comparing ourselves to others.

In my awakening I’ve learned to be open to the possibility of any and every possible explanation to everything. I believe we’ve been lied to and deceived about literally every single thing – ever. I believe the ones in control, or who are being controlled, did this for power and personal gain and honestly, what a great job they’ve done.

Society as a whole has bought into all of it. Hook, line and sinker and any who question it are ignored, silenced or labeled as crazy.

Wow. What a brilliant plan that has allowed control over us for thousands of years… and now that we are finally waking up to the truth and the light they amp up their game with control devices filled with fake news and distractions… that we PURCHASE and COVET. Brilliant.

I would like to speak of the light and love of the central source to everyone that I know or meet but I also know that most ears are not ready to hear it. I would like to tell everyone that we are all ONE and that none of the earthly issues we concern ourselves with truly matter. They will all be resolved with the awakening to our truth and divine purpose.

The only thing that matters is loving yourself and others because they are us and we are they. But that’s a 5D concept being thrown at a 3D world.

You don’t have to understand what’s happening. You don’t even have to believe. I say question every single thing. Literally. Everything.

You’re a carbon based life form being held onto the earth by gravity and breathing air kept around our round planet by a layer of ozone and you’re alone in a universe of infinity.

Even with “proof” I can’t say for myself that any of that is true. I can choose to believe but I’d rather stay open to possibilities after what I’ve seen and experienced.

However, here’s what a great job that they’ve done in convincing me so far… regardless of every amazing experience and sign that has been thrown at me and every synchronicity and wonder that I’ve seen… I still question one thing above all else. My worth.

In order for me to believe what I’m saying, that means I have to believe that I am part of the creator and that I am loved beyond imagination and compare and that we all are. I can believe it about you and every other person and thing in the world. But how can I matter so much? I’m not special or important…

Tricky thing turning the love you have for all things upon yourself. I give props to the darkness for beating such self doubt into me that even seeing miracles and feeling the creator’s love haven’t completely convinced me…

I am working on it. Every single day and trying to be a better person without judgment or jealousy. That’s definitely a 5D concept in a 3D world.

But I welcome the ascension process and I’m grateful that we are not alone in the universe and that soon the palaces and people in power built on greed and deception will fall and the light will help us all heal and love again. Truly love.

I am worthy. I love and I am loved. And so are you.

Sound the alarm

It is imprinted in my brain that if I see the enemy coming and don’t sound the alarm to warn the others, than I am no better than the enemy.

I receive a lot of messages. It is a very interesting process that starts with what seems to be a thought planted in my head. I always recognize it as something foreign and then I usually write it down along with any other thoughts that immediately follow it. It doesn’t usually make sense right away… but this morning it did.

Usually I have to piece a puzzle together about who the message is for and why, but the crazy thing is – that I always do. I’ve come to really appreciate the situation for what it’s worth and it has been helpful a time or two.

Back to this morning. Barely stepped into the shower and I heard very clearly, “He’s coming.”

God was my first thought, but I immediately knew that that was wrong. My next thought was actually the opposite. “He,” meaning the darkness himself.

My discernment meter told me that this was correct and I tried not to be affected by the message… but I was. I don’t fear much after all I’ve been through and death is not the scariest thing to me. But the thought of him coming made me… uneasy, to say the least.

The rest of the message was about preparing and protecting yourself and the last part, I knew, was personal. It was about closing off the “portal” or “gate” to the other realm – because that’s how he and the rest of the darkness, would enter.

I’ve felt that one of my spiritual “jobs”, if you will, while I’m here is being a gate keeper to a portal that allows movement through dimensions or realms. My spirit does the work of deciding who goes where without me being much the wiser.

However, with the portal needing to be shut, I must now be the wiser.

I also feel that it is my obligation to pass on information and from there – it’s up to the individual who receives it to decide what to do with it. Some of you will hear this message with your subconscious and your spirit will react accordingly.

So consider this the alarm being sounded. Whether this will turn out to be metaphorical, a personal issue or otherwise, I do not know. But I figure it’s better to be safe then sorry.

I am by NO means any sort of prophet. Nor do I claim to be. Nor would I want to be. I am only acting as a ‘messenger’ and I would advise every single person to use their own judgement and discernment when reading my, or anyone else’s, opinions.

I’m not trying to induce a state of widespread panic either.

All I can say is, that I take this as a warning that the darkness is coming worse than usual and that the need for your inner light in this situation is absolute. Please just prepare, protect and shine the light. I figure that’s good advice – regardless of whether anything is coming or not.

Darkness controls 98% of the Population


I love statistics. Mostly because 82% of statistics are made up on the spot.

But I heard this one today and I am leaning towards agreement, and if not – it seems pretty darn close.

I heard that the darkness holds the power over the minds of 98% of the population.

How does it sit with you? Do you believe that you are within the 2% that hold their own power and who are above the mind control and influence of the darkness?

Do you think for yourself? Are you in control of your mind and do you act in accordance with your own thoughts and feelings?

If you eat too much and eat unhealthy, you are being controlled. If you have addictions or habits of any kind, then you are being controlled. Do you dwell on greed, looks, ego, popularity and vanity? Controlled.

Do you let TV, politics, public opinion, social media or even religion influence you too highly?

Do you fear death, hell or anything else? Controlled.

Unfortunately the control starts in the womb and takes hold of the young and puts its claws in young adults and then has you completely by the time you’ve reached adulthood.

Darkness has set things in motion to where they just sit back and watch as humanity eats whatever they feed it and not only that – begs for more.

If this upsets you or you are in disbelief… dare I say, controlled?

Only those who break free of the darkness’ chains and mind control truly live in the way that the light intended; As a free thinker without fear.

That means – question everything. Don’t allow the negative thoughts that seep into your mind take up residence, seed, grow and fester.

Don’t allow yourself to be influenced by mainstream things or things meant to divide us as a human race.

Know that every single person could break free from the darkness’ hold and that there would be plenty of resources, land and prosperity to go around.

We are fed fear day and night. Don’t buy into it in any form. And please don’t spread it.

Death is a part of life and anything that puts you in fear of that is tricking you. It’s part of what we are here to do.

To live. And to die. Both. They are both beautiful and purposeful and if you live without fear of death, you may be able to rise above the darkness waiting for those in fear at the gates.

Depression, anxiety, addiction, the need for power or control and drifting without purpose… all influenced by the darkness.

You have the option of taking back your power and refusing to be controlled any longer. Think for yourself and don’t be tricked by negative thoughts or outside influences.

You are a very powerful, beautiful and strong light being here with a purpose. Never forget that.

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The Aftermath

Last night was a rough one. Not only was my 20 year old son struggling with pain and I can’t make it go away, but I had a pretty heavy duty and lengthy manifestation, and I haven’t had one for months and months.

Let me back up though – we are currently dealing with the aftermath of a crime, where my son was a victim and badly injured… and that’s just the beginning of the challenges.

Last Saturday night he was with a friend who was going to give another kid they knew a ride. My son offered to go along and to drive his car. Life changing choices, in hindsight.

Sounds innocent enough, until you take into consideration that the kid lives in a rough neighborhood and is part of a new start up gang in the area trying to make a name for themselves.

My son is not a gang banger but knows all different types of people.

Long story short, the kid pulls out a 9 mm and tries to carjack and rob them and my son ends up being shot 2 times, because… he didn’t want to be carjacked or robbed.

The kid shot off 7-8 bullets at my unarmed son and his friend and 2 struck my son and one grazed his friend. My son was hit in the upper arm and right below the knee cap. He was hospitalized for 2 days and it is now day 4 and, thankfully, he’s home.

I’m not a “what if” type of person but I have considered all of the ways this could have gone so much worse.

I had just forgotten all of the extra things it entails when you are the victim of a crime and you’re life is taken down a completely different track then the one you were currently on.

My son’s phone, backpack and his car were seized for evidence by the cops and his clothes and favorite Nike’s were cut off of his body. Understandable, but still, quite inconvenient.

We had to hear about it on the local news, who did not by any means tell the story as it really happened. Not one person who was actually involved was interviewed and police gave a very rough idea and “witnesses” only knew what had happened after the fact. It is frustrating to know that you or your child is being represented unfairly and the real story isn’t being told at all.

Ty is back staying with me and Lee now and can’t stay at his own apartment until he is further along in his recovery because he can barely walk let alone go up and down stairs or lay on his bed which is on the floor. As a mother, I’m ecstatic to have him so close again, but I also know he was just getting used to his independence and the freedom of living on his own.

I am so grateful for people, honestly I am, but bless their hearts they do ask a lot of questions and like to share their input and such. They also want a first hand account of what happened, which I understand. However, when a lot of people are doing that all at the same time, it’s almost like an extra job to keep up on it.

He hasn’t been able to work so his job is on the line and that is stressing him out, as well as not being able to drive and he is wondering how he will pay all of his bills. Of course we’ll do everything we can to help, but it’s still a valid stressor on top of everything else.

We have to go to orthopedic doctors appointments now and watch closely for infections, which could be life threatening.

We have had to be updated on the shooters situation and we will be notified and possibly have to attend court proceedings in the matter.

I honestly think it’s crazy that a situation that took all of minutes maybe seconds to occur, has most definitely had such a huge impact on every single aspect of our lives. It’s a struggle, for real. Now that I’m done venting about it, maybe I can go finish laundry and cleaning trying to get blood stains out of knee braces, ace bandages and car interiors.

Please don’t get me wrong, I am more grateful than words can say to have my son alive and recovering today and I do thank God that it wasn’t worse. I had just forgotten about all of the aftermath that comes from any type of this situation. It’s honestly incredible.

I’m also super grateful that Lee and I are able to get through this together. I don’t know what I would do without him AND my brave son.

But here’s to Tys recovery and to him getting his life back to “normal.”

I love you Ty.

Confidence is Key

I’m going to credit the basis of this message to Amy Schumer and a movie she did called “I Feel Pretty.” It absolutely floored me with a simple concept that I’ve known all along but haven’t been able to apply properly yet due to insecurities and self doubt.

And the concept is this: that confidence is the key. Not ego, pride and cockiness, but just pure self love and confidence.

This not only applies to relationships but it also helps in every day life.

In the movie she is slightly overweight and awkward and so she doesn’t assert herself or expect people to like her or be able to love her.

Let’s just say she gets a bump on the head of sorts and suddenly views herself as skinnier, prettier and more confident. Nothing about her actually changed… except her brain.

It tricked her into seeing a more beautiful, confident person and so she started dressing like it and acting like it. She suddenly has a love interest and a cool new job and the only issue here is she gets carried away and becomes a total self centered jerk.

So up until that point, I received a message loud and clear. Our perception of ourselves is so skewed and tarnished by outside factors like the media and trying to live up to other people’s standards that we lose self worth and confidence and it inhibits us in every area of our lives.

At least, mine has.

If we could just stop trying to measure up and just learn to embrace the beauty of whatever it is that we already are, true happiness and healthy relationships could be our reality.

I’ve seen every level of person get cheated on and left. Everyone from Beyonce to Jennifer Aniston. I’ve been left shaking my head going, “Who would cheat on them?”

But honestly, I don’t know these people. I just know they are beautiful, seemingly perfect, rich and have a lot to offer… and yet, to someone – they felt as if they weren’t enough.

So that says to me that no matter how perfect you are or achieve to be – to someone it may never be enough.

Which brings me back to confidence. if you can find a healthy level of confidence within yourself then not only will you be more attractive to others but you will also be more mentally prepared if someone else isn’t ready to accept and love you for who you are.

Because honestly, if they don’t, it’s on them. Plus, the less confident you are the more you will question whether you deserve that love. Or that job. Or that happy life.

If you believe it, you can achieve it. So believe it.

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Awakened vs Asleep


What does it mean to be consciously “awakened?” And how do you know if you’re “awake” or “asleep?”

It honestly means different things to different people because we all experience a different version of something that happens to change our perception of the world, ourselves and others.

There are a few key things that come to my mind to differentiate between an awakened, or awakening, person and one who is still “sleeping.”

Sleepers focus on the 3D “matrix” world problems and are usually concerned with things like local and national “news,” politics, politicians, patriotism, country, illegals and protecting their gun rights.

They are actually quite comfortable being “controlled” by the 3d matrix governments and people who pull the strings behind the scenes because it’s what they know and are used to.

They believe that their generations are better than any others and that the newest generations are weak and lazy. They hold on to their ways and speak down about others that they do not understand.

They blame parents for not “kicking enough ass,” when what they don’t realize is that there is a reason for the newest generations and that they are super important, just as good AND – will eventually save the world.

Unfortunately, they do believe and/or feel that a war is at hand – but they are confused, usually by the media, about who (or what) it is we are truly at war with.

When you awaken, all of those things usually fall away because something in your heart softens and something in your mind switches on.

Peace, love, compassion, understanding and concern for things like the environment and animals.

Suddenly you may become concerned with one time use plastics and the ocean and you feel a common link with all of humanity. You may even become compassionate and realize that all other people are humans, (teehee) too, and that we all deserve a life of safety, “freedom” and plenitude of good food and clean water.

You become hyper aware of what you’re putting in your body and you start craving less sugar and processed food and more of organic, natural food.

You start reconsidering your career path and also weighing the options of the people and places you surround yourself with and put yourself in because the “energy” of it all affects you.

Synchronicities become almost ridiculous. Almost as if they are just showing off.

You may feel a spike in your intuition and even feel “psychic” at times.

You may notice that you can see and/or feel other dimensions around you and you become like the ghost whisperer.

Dreams may become vivid, maybe lucid and sometimes super strange.

You may start to feel more spiritual and reconsider your concept of God and religion.

Maybe you get a massive alien vibe and realize how connected we are to the stars. Then you may stand outside and wait for your alien friends to come and get you… maybe that’s just me.

Please do not get this twisted though… awakened people have a purpose and so do the sleepers. Awakened people must still coordinate to the best of our ability with the 3D matrix and sleepers until something massive changes and either wakes them all up, or…?

If you start hearing things like, “the collective,” “the light,” “warrior,” “star seed” or anything pertaining to these words or subjects, you’re probably in the middle of your awakening.

And if you don’t, then you may be one of the people who are asleep and you will only awaken when you are darned good and ready!!

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